And Again

So today went rather well.  I had my good friend Beatrice over for lunch.  I didn’t eat her of course, we just ate sandwiches and watched TV.  We landed on “Wife Swap” which is of course ridiculous (Oh my gosh!  How will these families ever blend?  They’re complete opposites!).  I always know what nonsense I’m getting myself into, but it has an eerie draw.  The company and bad programming was an excellent distraction from the things currently on my mind.

For the last week or so I’ve had an unusual rash on my legs and hands, that spread to my arms.  This rash comes and goes constantly.  My IC and Fibro have been flaring, so I just assumed that’s what was going on.  In the past I had a scare that the rash may be Lupus, yet all the tests came out negative (I could never line up the doctor visits with the flares, and they won’t take blood without an appointment).  When I had voiced my concerns about the rash and the pain to my main rheumatologist, she told me I was over reacting, the rash was just a part of the Fibromyalgia.

I was content with this answer.  I didn’t push the issue.

Today I had an appointment with my rheumatologist.  I didn’t see my main doctor, but another within the practice.  She examined me and asked about the rash and swelling.  I told her what had been told to me about it, it was nothing, just my Fibro acting up.  She disagreed and had my blood drawn for more tests.  She did my physical exam and is now back to trying to diagnose me.  Damn, not again!  I explained to her that there is nothing to diagnose.  The rash is not always there, and my main doctor had basically stated that I was coo-coo and over reacting to a simple rash.  New doctor said it’s cause for concern and asked that I keep a photo diary of the rashes to help her better decide what’s going on with me.  She’s back to thinking it may be Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Not again.

I was depressed after the visit.  I know my reaction is premature, yet the threat of something else being wrong is overwhelming.  I’m sick enough as it is.  I’m afraid that I’ve become jaded and almost don’t want to know what’s happening so as not to have a heavier burden of illness.

Hanging out with Beatrice is just what I needed.  I let the thoughts of worry leave while I tidied up and played hostess.

I should have the results in a few weeks.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s just scarlet fever.

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~ by blanketgirl on October 26, 2009.

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