Keeping You Numb

Today has been interesting.  First I had that ‘oh shit!’ moment when I woke up; the one where I think I have to get the kids to school and then realize with a start that the house is empty and everyone is already where they should be.  That always scares me.

Next I’ve been plotting how to obtain health insurance.  I think I’ve found the plan I can afford, not necessarily the one that I want.  The hard part?  My dumb preexisting conditions.  Wouldn’t you think that the sick folks are the ones who need the insurance?  I’ll never understand our bass ackwards system.

I did make some progress in other areas of life.  I speak to my sweet Sister and Weasel every Tuesday, and I managed to find a new phone service that is much less expensive than the current one.  I went last night to install the box, and had to install a splitter.  I knew I had one in the garage, so I headed out there.  Looking around I realized that the cable tech that had worked at my house on the 9th stole my damn ladder.  What a dick, right?  Once I got up to the attic where the splitter was, I found out that he also took the splitter!  Waiting to hear back from the company as to when both will be returned.  Sigh.

Due to that nonsense I went and bought a new splitter, so the phone should be up and running by tomorrow (fingers crossed).

So, about the title of this particular entry…I had an old friend stop by the house today (which never happens) and she asked me, “Why don’t you come over anymore?  How are you?”

I realized just then that I have turned back into a crying recluse.  Time to up my pain meds.  I’ve kept a pain journal and hope that the doctor will listen to me on Wednesday.  When my body aches, I get tired of saying,”Oh sure, yeah I’m great.  I feel fantastic.”  While on the inside I’m screaming in agony.  I also get really impatient and bitchy.

I guess I need to find a way to distract people from asking me how I feel.  Perhaps a T-shirt?  Something along the lines of “Terminally Shitty – don’t ask, don’t tell”?

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~ by blanketgirl on October 19, 2009.

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