So Dumb

Today I’m still moping.  I’m sad about this flare holding on for so long.  I’m completely drained.  I think I over exerted myself yesterday.  I had promised the girls that I would take them to the summer movie, “Space Chimps”.  I drug my sad sick body out of bed and put myself together.  When we arrived at the movie, we found our seats, I handed out the snacks, and then went to sleep.  I slept, waking with the movie being more than half over.  My friend ChrispyGirl brought her kids, Smartypants and Curlytop.  The kids had so much fun playing that they begged for a lunch play date.  I agreed because they put me on the spot with everyone waiting anxiously.  Had we been home and the invitation had come along, I’d have said ‘no’.  Anyway, we went and got pizza for the kids, then went back to ChrispyGirls’ house.  ChrispyGirl drove us to the movie, so she dropped me off at my house (I had to do an installation and update my medications) then took the kids with her to her house.  Once there, the kids and ChrispyGirl ate pizza.  I had a wonderful chicken sandwich.  After lunch the kids went to play outside, and I fell asleep on ChrispyGirls’ couch.  While I was asleep, she found a delightfully funny list of absolutely ridiculous laws that have yet to be removed.  I can’t imagine that any of these would actually be enforced, but you never know.  After reading through the several hundred laws that were listed, I have found my favorites.

San Francisco, CA:  Persons classified as “ugly” may not walk down any street.  So, who is the expert on beauty that actually deems who is and who isn’t beautiful enough to walk?

Sterling, CO:  Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.  Where are taillights for cats sold?

Maricopa County, AZ:  You may not have more than two dildos in a house.  I know a few ladies that need a SWAT team to come take them away for their gross disobedience of this law. Hah!

Florida:  If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.   How many people riding elephants and not paying the parking fee did it take to get this law passed?

More Florida:  You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.  Any other time and place is fine?  Weird for sure.  I can just hear it now, “I’m sorry officer!  I was forced to eat a bean lunch.  Please don’t take me to jail, I have a family to support!”

Chicago, IL:  Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.  Were people going through the buffet line interrupting the firemen as they put out the inferno like blaze?

Kenilworth, IL:   A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.  Good luck enforcing that one.  Damn roosters and chickens refuse to listen to simple requests.

Normal, IL:  It is against the law to make faces at dogs.  Dogs of the US united to help create this law by lobbying day and night.  Dogs everywhere are filing reports as I type these lines.

Gary, IN:  Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.  I love this one.  Can you citizen arrest people with bad breath?

Wichita, KS:  Before proceeding through the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehicle and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.  I want to live in Wichita just for the opportunity to participate in this law.

New Orleans, LA:  It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.  That’s either a slow ass car, or a really quick husband.

Baltimore, MD:  It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.  Again, how many people took a lion to the movies and claimed ignorance to the idea that the social code didn’t allow for it?

Idaho:  It’s illegal to fish on the back of a camel. Why?  Does the fisherman on the camel have an unfair advantage?

More Idaho:  No person shall appear anywhere within the state without a smile on their face.  Damn straight!  Appear happy or get the hell out of this state.

Nebraska:  If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.  Well duh.  Everyone knows that’s totally disrespectful of God and deserves jail time.

New Hampshire:  It’s illegal, on Sunday, for residents to relieve themselves while looking up.  This is just manners…would you want someone to pee and look satisfactorily in your direction while they did it?

Tulsa, OK:  You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.  There are specific scientific properties in place here.  Don’t take any chances.  Find an engineer before you wind up with soda covered ceilings.

Pennsylvania:  Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.  What?!  I can’t imagine disassembling my car for a team of horses that quickly.  I’m curious how many people were punished for not completely hiding the car pieces under the bushes.

Fountain Inn, SC:  Horses are to wear pants at all times.  Ezekiel – dogs should too, right? 🙂

From Seattle, WA: You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.  How tall is the person concealing a six foot weapon, and where on their person is it being hidden?

I almost peed myself laughing.  I will forever wonder who actually decided these items needed to be addressed by the implementation of a law, and what political entity allowed them to be approved.  I’m still researching the origins.

If anyone reading this knows of another obscure law in their place of residence that will tickle my fancy, please post it in the comments.


~ by blanketgirl on May 28, 2009.

One Response to “So Dumb”

  1. I believe there is one in Chester/Nottingham/Liverpool/any other northern city wanting a claim to fame saying you are allowed to shoot [with a crossbow] a Welshman on sight. I bet there are a similar ones about Irish/Scottish people across England too and vice versa!

    See also or

    And I’d never let any dog of mine travel without trousers!

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