Shop Smash

Today I ventured out into the world of retail once again.  The children were in need of shorts as were Husband and I, so I printed out my handy e-coupon from Old Navy and headed out.

When I got there I remembered why I dislike shopping for clothes.  First, the store itself is entirely overwhelming.  It’s like a disco with all the flashing lights and loud dance music.  All that’s missing is the DJ, a few drunks and a bartender.

After trying on approximately forty pounds of assorted clothing in assorted styles, I realized that I’m just not the right body size for clothes.  Any clothes.  Everything was either too short, too long, too tight or too loose.  Wow.  What a drain on the ‘ole self esteem.  I did manage to find a pair of shorts that weren’t all that insulting to those that are forced to look at me, so in a way I left victorious.  The children and Husband did not suffer the same set backs and left in a smiling blissful fashion fix.

I really need there to be a monstrous fashion movement bringing track suits and tanks into the fashion forefront, never to be mocked again.  At least I have my happy sunshiny dresses.  The bodice is very flattering and totally masks and distracts anyone from noticing what lies beneath the ‘look at my huge boobies’ showcase.

Tomorrow is bathing suit day.  I must be a masochist.


~ by blanketgirl on May 6, 2009.

One Response to “Shop Smash”

  1. Good god woman. Bathing suits the day after shorts?! You are a masochist.

    I managed to find a shirt at the grocery store the other day. So I’m pleased. I hate that I have to work so hard for one piece of ‘okay’ clothing. We should start our own clothes line for upside-down triangle women.

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