Only Just

Today the girls finished up their sleep over party.  I loved having so many kids here.  Some parents dislike it, but for me it’s a bit of a mini vacation from the referee position I usually hold.  When they have friends over they’re too busy playing to pick persnickety bicker-fests with each other.

I took more pictures of little doggie and myself for the web slideshow.  Almost every submission I’ve sent has been sent back because of quality issues.  To bad I don’t have a fancy kick ass camera.  Even though it was a bit washed out, this is the one I like:

Me and Miss Goo Goo

Long story now.    Last September I cheerlessly applied for disability.  Interstitial Cystitis has consumed my life making working a distant wish from another existence.  Initially I was declined with no research being done into my case due to my age.  It was stated that people applying for disability that are under 50 years of age are always declined the first time by that fact alone.    I reapplied after the initial decision and have been volleying back and forth with the government for several months.  I was told by the representation I utilized that the second application could take anywhere from two to fourteen months.  I was anticipating a long wait.  Last week I called to inquire about the status.  The rep told me a decision had been made and I would be notified some time this month.  I have almost deliberately been putting off retrieving the mail to prolong the denial that I thought would be waiting there for me.  Instead I sucked up my worry and gathered my fate from the mailbox.  Inside the stack a letter was waiting for me from the disability determination office.  I opened it nervously.  Stunned I realized I had been approved.  I’m still reeling.  This will help my family in multiple ways.

After such a dramatically dark and mournful time, I now feel like I’m emerging into something brighter.  Everyday I feel the weight on my soul becoming lighter.  Being sick changed everything.  I took my health for granted.  I truly didn’t understand what it was to be chronically ill and the impact it has on every aspect of life.  I became desperate for either a cure or at least the means to take care of myself and had neither.  Now that I have proper pain management,  health care and some financial stability I feel like I can cope a while longer.  Maybe I can do this long term after all.

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~ by blanketgirl on April 5, 2009.

One Response to “Only Just”

  1. You are so incredibly gorgeous! And little doggie is adorable with her tongue out and her ears up.

    And disability!!!!! Amazing news, wonderful news, sensational!

    I’m so pleased I can speak with you today to hear all the details.

    Love you and so happy for you!

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