Sweet Sweet

I did it.

After my hard strenuous battle with doctors of all types, I finally received the prescription for the morphine.  Finally!

I sat last night in frustration, trying to decide how to help my pain doctor realize the level of pain I was at.  I have described my pain in every way imaginable with no results.  I questioned myself on the ‘right’ way to describe my symptoms.  Then it struck me.  I should show him the letter from the urologist stating the true nature and severity of my interstitial cystitis!  I went to the appointment this morning armed with the letter.

At the appointment, I reminded the doctor that I’m allergic to the entire family of nerve pain medication.  I explained how the morphine at the ER really helped.  Then I gave him the letter.  As he read through the letter, I watched his face change, he softened.  He looked at me with real compassion and returned the letter to me.  All he said was, “Wow.  That must be really hard.  Let’s get you that morphine.”  He ended up allowing me to keep the pills from the ER, suggesting I use them in addition to the other medications.  I think my brain imploded in disbelief.  I asked about the contract; he stated that medications given at the ER are approved or denied at his discretion, not that of the patient relations department.  As a special bonus he even apologized for the mannerism of the patient relations hag.  As far as follow up, I was granted an appointment in two weeks to adjust the dosage of morphine.  I was also told to call anytime before that if I needed anything else.  This is a total change of treatment.

I’m so happy.  All this time and frustration, and all it took was an ER visit and a letter.  If only I’d known!  Now I know what to share/suggest with the folks in my IC group who are struggling to get medication.

I swallowed the morphine when I got home, and about 45 minutes later I slept.  Two hours of solid, dreamless sleep.  It was unbelievably awesome.  When I woke up I did a treatment, then went to get youngest from school.

My evening was quite special.  After retrieving youngest, we waited for oldest to return home, then we went to the library and the grocery.  I kept waiting to feel terrible and have to sit down or alternatively having to give up and go home.  It didn’t happen.  The pain was there and present, yet it only budded, never blooming.  The good part is I can think and am not totally distracted by the constant stabbing.  I’m very sore tonight from my adventure in reading and foods, but not as much as I would be had I tried to do this level of activity without morphine. I was out of the house, essentially on my own, for two hours.  That’s the first time that’s happened for me in over 6 months.  The morphine is giving me hope!  I’m appreciating this night for what it is.  I’m going to try to not think about the “what if the pain comes back” and just enjoy myself.

I’m eager for sleep tonight and actually have made tentative plans to write and sew tomorrow.  I have only sanguine expectations for the immediate future.

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~ by blanketgirl on April 1, 2009.

2 Responses to “Sweet Sweet”

  1. I’m so glad that the pain doctor helped you properly! 🙂

  2. FINALLY!!

    Mom asked me what my dose of morphine was when I was on it. I think she said you were on 10mg or something? I explained that I started out on 15mg twice a day supplementing with the liquid morphine and in the end was on 60mg twice a day supplementing with the liquid. I don’t think she’d quite realised how incredibly painful these things can be.

    I adore morphine, it changed my life when I needed it. And when I didn’t need it, I stopped with no problems. It was just a wonderful medication for me.

    I’m glad you’re able to do things again.

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