I was Built to Tolerate

Today I was able to pick up some of the medications I need.  Not all of them, but some.  It should take the edge off until my appointment tomorrow.

I’ve felt horrible today.  I’m at my limit emotionally and physically.  It seems like this happens every few weeks.  The prospect of a lifetime of this illness is very disheartening.  The vicoprophen is a joke.  All it does is make me swollen.  I can’t wait for different medications!

I can’t focus very well tonight, so I’m going to try to go to bed early.  It’s all I can do right now.  Maybe sleep will give me some relief.

I was reading some of the interpretations of the lyrics to my beloved favorite, “Beauty of Speed” and I just don’t agree with the main consensus that it’s about drugs.  No way!  I totally disagree!

To me it’s about being in a car accident with your partner during an argument.  You know, driving down the road getting more and more frustrated and angry, watching the speedomenter creep.  Then you turn to look at them for a split second, losing focus on the road.  A violent burst of color and wreckage.  Everything moving in slow motion but still too fast, becoming quite surreal.  I’m not sure if I’m right or wrong.  Part of what I love about her songs is how open they are to interpretation.  If you agree with my version, let me know!  If you think it’s about something all together different, I’d like to read your thoughts.  If you think it’s about drugs, well then, keep it to yourself.  🙂

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~ by blanketgirl on March 19, 2009.

One Response to “I was Built to Tolerate”

  1. I definitely can taste, if not an argument right then and there, the rocky parts in a relationship … the places where an argument starts to have itself, when you’re sat there wondering who this person is beside you and how to get through to them. Things are difficult, but you can handle it, you can tolerate it, break through it, please God, give me the strength to hold on a litle longer because here comes the good times, coming back out of this tumbling mess and up into the bright warm blur of the breathless high places …

    I’m not wedded to the car crash though, it feels like the vehicle is a metaphor for the relationship itself … and I can make some reasonable arguments for it being a car, a plane or even a spaceship if we want to get literal :).

    The drug thing though is so much overly literal bollocks, the usual reaching from people who either see things horribly literally (in which case, how the hell do they cope with Tori Amos lyrics in the first place?) or who have been going through horrible logical twists and turns to make every song they like about their drugs of choice/drugs in general since the day they first toked.

    … Besides, Tori liked her hallucinogens, not amphetamines iirc :P.

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