Her Medicine

God help me.  Yesterday I wrote of my experience with my HMO.  I thought the trial had ended there, yet I was wrong.

I tried to have my medication refilled only to find that it had to be preauthorized by my prescribing doctor, then approved by the insurance company’s medical director.  The process will take approximately thirty days.  I called the doctor and they quickly sent all the qualifying paperwork with a stat order.  After that I called the insurance company to find out the delivery date.  They received the paperwork, however not only does the medical director have to approve it, new patients have to be entered into the system.  First orders will take an extra week to allow the information to be entered into the database.  Thirty seven days minimum waiting time for meds I need tomorrow to control this chronic condition.  To quote Monty Python, “Help, help! I’m being oppressed,  I’m being oppressed!”

Part of the reason I use the medication delivery service is because the combined cost of my injectible meds is over $400.00 a month.  I just can’t afford it.  The mail order cost is a quarter of that.  In the meantime I’ll have to pay out of pocket for at least one month until the red tape is cut. Calgon take me away!

My pain doctor was unable to help me properly this morning, so another appointment has been scheduled on Friday to discuss the addition of longer duration pain medications, like morphine, to work with the short term meds I’m currently taking.  This sounded very promising.  I became very eager for the appointment, thinking that some pain would be absolved by the weekend.  Just to be sure there would be no further surprises I called the insurance company to find out what is covered.  The morphine is on the allowable drug list but once again that pesky preapproval is required.  I start to question the process.  Doesn’t my doctor know the best course for me?  Why does my insurance get a say?  Any new medications will take at least two weeks to process.  Damn!  I feel so perturbed.  I understand that there has to be some sort of system, but how has any of this actually helped me?

Enough bitching and moaning.  I’m sure I’m not the only person with these problems.  I guess I should be grateful for the insurance period, and hope that everything is sorted quickly.  I’m having that weird stress response I get where I smile and laugh at the wrong times, thinking things that are mortifying are hilarious.  I probably seem like a lunatic to my family right now.  I’m literally crazy with pain.  I’m good at distracting myself, but I don’t know if I’m that good.  I rely on the meds to help me function.  If it gets unbearable, I’ll go to the emergency room.  Wait.  I better find out if that has to be preapproved.  Hah!  Oh well.  I hope to make it through this with a little self respect in tact, so I’ve made a pact with myself not to cry in front of the doctor, or on the phone with the insurance.  I won’t give them the satisfaction of controlling everything about me.

Okay.  Venting over.  Now good things.

First, I was able to speak to my sister today.  It helps me so much.  She is on my side and agrees with my perspective which helps me feel loved and supported.  If she were my doctor, I would be on morphine already.  Love you sis.

Second, I planted the wild flower, zinnia and allysum seeds I wrote about awhile back.  The soil is good, and the seeds have been watered.  I can’t wait for them to start to grow!  Here’s a picture of the friendly turtle guarding our future buds:

turtle guard

Things can only get better from here, and if they don’t at least I’ll have pretty flowers.

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~ by blanketgirl on March 18, 2009.

One Response to “Her Medicine”

  1. I love you too!

    If I were your doctor I’d totally have you drugged up and arranged for a masseuse! I’d also have arranged for a housekeeper to come help with the difficult tasks and a babysitter who could help with the kids when you have appointments or even just to have a nap. Of course then I wouldn’t be so much doctor as benevolent dictator. Move heaven and earth for you I would.

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