For Something

Today I had my interview with the guy from the magazine.  It was supposed to be tomorrow, but it worked out to be today because of scheduling issues with the other two families he was interviewing.  Little doggie made me proud.  She let the reporter feed her treats and she licked his hand.  She also let the min pin rescue lady who initially gave her to me pet her on the tummy.  I was so proud!  Seriously!  It’s like little doggie just won a humanity award.  The reporter commented on his way out that I was great, and that a fact checker and photographer would be contacting me.  It’s all very exciting.

I realized that I probably have been to bold in my expressions about my situation with husband.  I probably have made the matter worse by sharing my feelings in this blog.  He might have read it.  I’m so silly some times.  I don’t think things through well.  So, to clarify, I want to make sure that any person that reads this, past or future, understands that husband is a great guy.  He has his moments, but we all do.  I’m far from perfect and am not a saint.  I probably in many ways pushed us more sharply towards what’s happening by insisting on a conclusion.  I’m very bad in static situations, they stress me out.  I like to have a concise ending.  With a bow.  All plot lines resolved.  Husband probably would have been content to let things ride a bit longer, but I have to have my endings. This time I think he’s really ready to give me that ending.  Shitty.  I wish it weren’t so painful.  I think that’s why I pushed so hard.  I hate soaking my wounds in lemon juice everyday.  He has mentioned a few things from the past that I thought we had overcome.  It was devastating to hear that he’s not over it.  I am not sure what to do.  We have matching tattoos.  I never thought it would come to this in a million years.  I also wonder why he never remembers anything good to dwell on.

In a challenge to myself, I thought I would list a few things about him I like.  He is a great musician.  He has a wonderful ear.  I love to listen to him, although he doesn’t know it.  I like the way he laughs, and his jokes.  I like the efficient way he deals with things.

I hope we can pull it together.


~ by blanketgirl on March 2, 2009.

One Response to “For Something”

  1. For the record, I do too.

    And so does Kara. And Mom. And Dad. And your kids. And everyone else.

    We’re all pulling for you/praying/sending good vibes.

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