Give Me Life

Hi.  Today has been rough.  I’m really nauseous and having a hard time walking again.  I just want to lay down on a cloud that has no pressure points that can poke my sensitive muscles and joints.  I know this burning pain is from the withdrawal of my nerve pain meds.  It still hurts.  I hate that all the pain I had forgotten is back today because the meds are out of my system.  My hips, legs, forearms, shoulders and neck are miserable.  I want my Dad.

I really wanted the benefit of the medication for the Fibromyalgia without the side effects.  I got a call from my doctor; they want me to participate in a new medication research study for those with severe IC and Fibro together.  I haven’t decided if I’ll do it yet.

Tomorrow should be better.  I hope I’ll sleep tonight.  I know I get to talk to my sister and Weasel tomorrow, so I’m looking forward to that.  I hate that I want to share the pain in hopes that I’ll feel the love and support from my family, but I hate telling them about it because I know they can’t help me and they’ll just feel bad wishing they had more power to be there and stop the pain somehow.  It’s such a stupid situation.  Absolutely helpless I am; and so is everyone I love.

I need better pain control.  Keep everything crossed that I’ll sleep tonight and feel much better tomorrow.

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~ by blanketgirl on February 16, 2009.

One Response to “Give Me Life”

  1. See, this is yet another reason to come and see us … we have cloud in abundance! I’m sure you could take some spare back with you.

    As for the other, there’s this thing, see. Yes, when a body is distant and there’s nothing they can do, it can feel bad but … we’re both awake and aware and alive enough to realise that what little we can do is something. But oftentimes you’ll find we’d welcome you sharing, because we’d rather be able to offer that love and support than nothing … and hey, in this situation we’re all feeling rather impotent in the face of the whole thing … so if we can’t get some comfort from each other, we’re buggered.

    … and not in the nice way where you have dinner and a bottle of wine first and they still respect you in the morning :P.

    Looking forward to hearing from you today (If I’m back too late from my meeting, can I call you later in the evening?) And talka bout wahtever you want to, becasue you do or don’t want to and for no other reason at all, ja?

    (And see what happens? you start blogging again, and I actually register an account so I can comment :D).

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